Rant Review: First Frost by Jennifer Estep

First Frost by Jennifer Estep
(Mythos Academy #0.5)

2 out of 5 stars

Published by Kensington

I'm doing this review a little differently - this is a rant I wrote on Goodreads some time ago. Don't take this too seriously, it's purely for entertaining purposes. No offence meant towards the author or her editor.

My dear god, I should have known this would end up as a rant. Even though First Frost is barely an hour's read, it left me sputtering and muttering for three times as long. My fingers are sore of making annotations on my Kindle. Behold, my opinion of this little piece of work.

Ms Estep is writing in dangerous territory. Writing about a school for special kids with magical powers is tricky business; it automatically reminds of other successful YA-series that follow this formula. Series like Harry Potter, House of Night, Vampire Academy, Fallen... Just to name a few. Because of this, an author's work, how original it might be, just looks like a fake. Like the author thought, hey, this is popular, let's write something like that!

I'm quite sure Ms Estep didn't think like that when she came up with the Mythos Academy. It's quite evident that she put some thought in it; the school inhabits all different kinds of mythological creatures. Even though myths (yes, that is my newly invented abbreviation of mythological creatures) seem to be the new angels (like angels were the new vampires... etcetera), it's still a fairly new sub-genre, so definitely nothing cliché there.

Now let's talk about what made my face go "No you didn't!". For educational purposes I will add some quotes from the book so you can see what I'm talking about.

We start our little story with our heroine in the locker room at school. We immediately get introduced to her special powers.

I was a Gypsy with psychometry magic. A fancy way of saying that I saw images in my head and got flashes of other people's memories and feelings off almost everything that I touched.

Well, that sounds pretty cool right? It definitely has a lot of mystery potential, where Gwen uncovers secrets using her powers. The Gypsy part makes me frown a bit. But we're still on the second page, I guess that we will get more info about that later.

We go through a bit of explanation of her powers, and I am still in happy YA land. Celine is content.

Yeah, I was just that kind of loser, a book-smart Gypsy girl who sucked at pretty much every sport you could think of and probably a couple that hadn't even been invented yet.

Huh. There is the Gypsy thing again. Still have no idea what all that's about, but I guess we'll see. I'm a bit annoyed though that we have another awkward and clumsy heroine here. Why can't they just be mediocre at sports? Do they always have to be get a ball in their face? Even though I personally am as clumsy as every awkward book geek, I don't find it an endearing trait in a main character. Let us continue.

Something bad and freaky happens. It actually had quite a shock-factor, which I enjoyed. Gwen's reaction to said bad thing:

And that's when I started screaming.

I screamed and screamed and screamed.

Okay that is pretty awful. I'm sorry, but I'm not one for repeating the same word over and over again. I'm a fan of synonyms. Or descriptions. I find this quite lame.

A few pages later we meet Gwen's mother.

Concern filled my mom's eyes. She was a Gypsy just like me, which meant that she had a gift like me.

Now this awkward. The logical conclusion of this sentence is that a person that is a Gypsy, must have a gift. I still don't get the definition of Gypsy here. Call me racist, but I always thought Gypsies were those people that live in trailers and travel around the world with their families. So isn't it quite obvious that Gwen's mother would be a Gypsy if Gwen herself was one? Seriously, at this point I feel like I'm missing out on some secret pact that Gypsy from now on is a code name for a supernatural person, like witch.

A little bit bewildered, I continue reading. Enter grandma. Guess what, she's a Gypsy.

...the same violet color as her eyes-as all our eyes were.

Now that is freaky. Grandmother, mother & daughter all have violet (?) eyes. First, I have never seen a person with eyes that could be considered violet, but even if we completely disregard the fact of people with purple eyecolor, I think it's disconcerting that three generations have EXACTLY the same eye colour. But oh well, this is urban-fantasy, so I'll go with it. For now.

There is some family talk, some "oh my god, my mother is so weird, she always talks about Greek gods and goddesses!". Yeah, yeah, we get that. Pretty standard stuff. Unless your mother talks about killer unicorns, I'm not that interested. We talk about volcanoes and quantum mechanics at dinner. Get over yourself please.

Now we arrive at the most offensive sentence of the whole story. (If you have arrived at this point in my review rant you probably don't care about the spoilers any more).

I didn't know then that this would be the last time I ever talked to her.

Oh COME ON! Seriously, this is not cool. You do not do something like this. This completely ruins the surprise in a horrible way. Really, I can't even begin to tell you how I feel about dropping such an important part of the story just seconds after an uneventful phone call. No dramatical build-up whatsoever. BOOM, hey, my mother will disappear/die! Ugh.

Let's examine dear Gwen's reaction when she finds out the bad news that she will never speak her mother again.

I had started screaming again.

Figures.

Insert some self guilt.

And cried and cried and cried some more.

Are you kidding me? There is really nothing more to say than "verb and verb and verb some more"?! Use it once, and I will be forgiving. Use it twice in a twenty page story and I will begin to doubt if you even put some effort into this. And if this story has ever seen an editor. Or a proof reader.

Now, we come to the Harry Potter-style part. A mysterious Professor arrives at the house.

She was short, with a body that looked stocky and strong inside her black pantsuit and white shirt. Her black hair was pulled back into a bun, and her eyes were a soft green behind her silver glasses.

Right. Give her robes and grey hair, and who have we gotten here?... That's right, Professor McGonagall! And there is more, look what she has to say!

"Because Mythos isn't just any school, Gwen," Metis said. "It's for kids like you. Kids with magic."

You're a wizard Harry!

Oops, wrong book.

Our ever eloquent heroine has some questions for McGonagall.

"What kinds of kids go there?" I asked. "What kind of magic do they have? Are they Gypsies like me?"

Well, DUH. Every kid with magic is a witch! Or wait, you call that Gypsy. Wait, now I am confused.

McGonagall vaguely answers

"It varies, depending on the student and her background. But the Vikings and Valkyries are very strong, while the Romans and Amazons are very quick."

Ahhh, that's how the Roman empire was so successful! They were QUICK! So when they were fighting Asterix and Obelix in France, they would just go like, oh-my-god-we-capture-your-land-so-quickly-it's-so-quick-you-didn't-even-see-us-coming! And the Vikings were just like ARRGG, I'm strong. I'm gonna hit you in the head with my big axe, I'm so strong. And Valkyries, that usually are pictured with wings, they're not quick! Nope, they're just strong. Like tanks. With wings.

How can you take this seriously.

Now, enter the super cool classes at Mythos.

"Myth-history?" I asked. "What kind of class is that?"

Well dear, supposedly "booksmart" girl, it's a CLASS in which you learn about MYTHS. It's a very hard to grasp concept. I wouldn't understand it either. I looked it up on Wikipedia.

McGonagall thinks it's still a mystery though.

Metis just smiled. "You'll see, Gwen. You'll see."

I guess she will see.

Almost like... she'd known my mom or something. But that just wasn't possible. I'd known all of my mom's friends, and Metis wasn't one of them.

It's absolutely IMPOSSIBLE that your mother knows someone you don't! You know every single person in her life, from the moment she was born up until now! I bet she has like, big photobooks with their pictures to keep track of them. Must be hard work to keep up with all the mail men.

Gonna skip a part here, otherwise this rant will last forever.

Mythos looks spooky, blah blah blah. They have Minotaur statues, big deal.

EVERY SINGLE KID HERE IS LIKE SUPER DUPER RICH AND THEY ALL WEAR LIKE DESIGNER CLOTHES AND PLATINUM WATCHES AND DIAMONDS.

I don't make that up. It's in there.

I hadn't quite believed Metis when she'd claimed there were other kids out there like me, kids who could do amazing things, but now I was seeing it for myself.

You have frigging magical grandma, and you don't believe someone else can have some powers too? No comment.

Then there is super awesome guy that fights with swords. And please sit down now because this might be shocking;

He noticed me staring at him and gave me a slow, suggestive wink. Was he... was he flirting with me? He didn't even know me.

No he DIDN'T! A guy that flirts with the new girl! That HAS NEVER EVER HAPPENED BEFORE!

I'm going to skip to the last line though. There is some more mindless babbling that really isn't that interesting any more.

One thing was certain-my life was never, ever going to be the same.

I agree. Mine won't either.

Blurb

I am Gwen Frost, and I have a Gypsy gift. It's called psychometry - that's a fancy way of saying that I see images in my head and get flashes of other people's memories off almost everything I touch, even guys.

My gift makes me kind of nosy. Okay, okay, maybe a lot nosy--to the point of obsession sometimes. I want to know everything about everyone around me. But even I don't want to know the secrets my friend Paige is hiding or the terrible loss that will send me to a new school - Mythos Academy, where the teachers aren't preparing us for the SATs, but to battle Reapers of Chaos. Now I have no friends and no idea how my gift fits in with all these warrior whiz kids. The only thing I do know is that my life is never, ever going to be the same. . .

Other reviews you might be interested in

• Review: Linger by Maggie Stiefvater (5/5 Stars)
• Review: A Witch in Winter by Ruth Warburton (4/5 Stars)
• Review: Passion by Lauren Kate (2/5 Stars)
• Review: The Replacement by Brenna Yovanoff (4/5 Stars)

More links

• Author page
• Press
• Goodreads

Review: Heart of Perdition by Selah March

Heart of Perdition by Selah March

2 out of 5 stars

Published by Carina Press
ARC received through Netgalley

Heart of Perdition is another steampunk novella published by Carina Press, but this one had a different feel to it than for example Photographs & Phantoms or Like Clockwork. It's a bit darker, more Gothic novel than mystery. There are ancient curses and spooky settings. Although it is a romance, it did felt a little bit lighter on romance than the average Carina Press novel.

I loved the idea of this book. I was kind of amazed by how complex of a story Ms March was building. There was a lot of intrigue and tension, and I started wondering how she would tie all the ends up in such a short story. This is where the low rating comes in - she doesn't tie all the ends up. She doesn't tie a single one of them. There is no redemption, no solution, no confrontation. Just when I think something interesting is about to happen, I see the last sentence. "...To be continued".

Which was terribly lame. It just felt like the author couldn't come op with a handy solution to figure everything out, so she just stamped on a "to be continued" so no one could get angry about it. I've contacted the nice people at Carina Press and they told me that the second part in the series is being currently written, and it will probably release in 2013.

I would still be interested to read the sequel to Heart of Perdition, because I did like the feel of the story. But as a story itself, this was a bit disappointing.

Blurb

As the nineteenth century draws to a close, James Weston, Earl of Falmouth, is dying along with it. Despite living in an age of airships and automatons, even London's finest physicians cannot cure the young man's ailing heart. His last hope lies in retrieving a powerful artifact from the remote island home of an eccentric scientist's daughter.

Elspeth Shaw prefers her solitary life to the tragic results that come from mixing in society. Elspeth is cursed: every mortal being who forms an attachment to her dies a horrible death. Yet when the doomed Lord Falmouth arrives in search of the very artifact that blights her, she hasn't the will to refuse. But the price for cheating death may be more than any human can pay...

Other reviews you might be interested in

• Review: A Treasure Worth Seeking by Sandra Brown (2.5/5 Stars)
• Review: Soulless by Gail Carriger (4.5/5 Stars)
• Review: The Debutante's Dilemma by Elyse Mady (3/5 Stars)
• Review: Incarceron by Catherine Fisher (4/5 Stars)

More links

• Author page
• Press
• Goodreads

Review: Passion by Lauren Kate

Passion by Lauren Kate
(Fallen #3)

2 out of 5 stars

Published by Random House Children's Books
This review may contain spoilers for the previous books in the series

Reading the Fallen series has always been like walking on thin ice for me. As long as you're treading very carefully, everything is fine. Passion is the book that was just slightly too heavy for the support of the ice, and it falls through, dumping me in the freezing water.

Luce is jumping through the Announcers through history to find something she's looking for. She doesn't know yet what exactly that is, only that she needs to find her past selves. All of her friends and Daniel try to follow her, and find her before she changes something fundamental.

I did like the idea of this book. I'm a secret fan of historical settings, and I was looking forward to meeting a Regency Luce, and a pre-historical Luce, etcetera. The problem is, that was the only thing I ended up liking in this book. Luce breezes through history, and I enjoyed watching her being a completely different person in other time periods.

The rest of this book wasn't that entertaining though. Passion lends from countless clichés. The snarky travelling companion. Daniel chasing Luce but never quite catching her. But the worst thing I read in this book was the awful characterisation of Satan. With a character like Satan, you need him to be the ultimate of evil. He should be cruel but intelligent. Someone that makes you shudder, that you can be afraid of.

Well, none of that. Ms Kate's Satan acts like a five-year-old. You know, one that throws a tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants. But the worst cliché that an author shouldn't even want to touch with a very long stick, is one that Ms Kate embraces. She lets Satan spill all of his evil plans. Just like that. Here they are, puny human. My ego is so large I don't have to be sneaky in taking over the world. I will tell you just now how I'm planning to win from heaven so you can try to stop me.

Ugh.

I might have been able to deal with the awful clichés if there was some emotion to brighten up this story. But Luce is just jumping through time, looking for some kind of love. It feels like she's running around like a headless chicken. There is no reason behind it, and in the end I still don't get exactly what she was searching for. All of her emotions felt forced, and I couldn't relate to them at all. In the meantime Daniel is just flying around, being emo. Thinking about killing himself.

Passion really wasn't a passionate book at all. If it had more of it, I might have liked it. Just like the cover, the inside of Passion is mediocre at best. I will read the last book in this series, Rapture, but my expectations of it have been exponentially lowered.

Blurb

Luce would die for Daniel.

And she has. Over and over again. Throughout time, Luce and Daniel have found each other, only to be painfully torn apart: Luce dead, Daniel left broken and alone. But perhaps it doesn’t need to be that way...

Luce is certain that something—or someone—in a past life can help her in her present one. So she begins the most important journey of this lifetime... going back eternities to witness firsthand her romances with Daniel... and finally unlock the key to making their love last.

Cam and the legions of angels and Outcasts are desperate to catch Luce, but none are as frantic as Daniel. He chases Luce through their shared pasts, terrified of what might happen if she rewrites history.

Because their romance for the ages could go up in flames... forever.

Other reviews you might be interested in

• Review: Torment by Lauren Kate (4/5 Stars)
• Review: Everneath by Brodi Ashton (4.5/5 Stars)
• Review: Crescendo by Becca Fitzpatrick (4/5 Stars)
• Review: Angel Burn by L.A. Weatherly (4/5 Stars)

More links

• Author page
• Press
• Goodreads

Review: The Angelic Mysteries by James Sanderson

The Angelic Mysteries by James Sanderson

2 out of 5 stars

Self-published
Received this copy for review from the author

I rushed through The Angelic Mysteries in about one hour. However, this kind of themed book shouldn't be rushed through. You have to create some time to ponder about the theme, about the message. For me it felt like the book just didn't have enough words.

Daniel is travelling through Europe, trying to find himself, to find God. On a misty day in Holland he meets a mysterious woman, Sarah. She claims to be an angel, descended from haven. But she is in terrible danger, she says. A demon from hell is after her.

I liked the story. I liked the theme. It just could have been so, so much better. For every sentence in this book, I would like to add five more. Not more plot, just more words. More descriptions, more emotions, more everything. Just so it can become a story, not just words on a page. I want to smell the stinking water of Venice. I want to feel the rain on my skin. I want to know the main characters.

Throughout the novella, I found the main characters Daniel and Sarah terribly lacking. They don't seem to have a personality at all, they are just means to tell the story. It felt like they were puppets in a puppet-show. One-sided characters that the narrator uses to get his message across. Being a person that likes first-person narration, I'm more used to really being inside someone's thoughts. I now missed all the emotions that make characters human, likeable.

The upcoming paragraph contains some ranting of a teeny bit annoyed Dutch person, that stubbornly claims to know more about Europe than a writer from Colorado.

Through the lack of detail I was left wondering even in which time this book is set. The writer mentions having to show your passport before crossing the Dutch-German border. If this book is meant as a contemporary, I would like to rectify something. Within the European Union, which includes (but is not limited to) the Netherlands, Germany, France and Italy, you never have to show your passport at the borders. We call it "open borders". People within the Union are free to travel anywhere they want. It would now be completely impossible for Daniel to be denied crossing into France from Italy, just because he hasn't got a passport on him. There are no border offices any more. I live in the Netherlands myself, about 5 minutes from the German border. I can dance on the street that forms the borderline, and the only indication that I would be dancing on German terrain, would be a little sign that says "Welcome to Germany!".

The only point I have here, is that, if this book is meant as contemporary, I would like the author to research more about the countries he writes about. If it is set pre-WWII, I take everything back. Even though he has clearly never been to Venice. Try finding an empty alley there. I wish you a lot of luck, and preferably some kind of miracle.

I would still be interested in reading a full-length novel by Mr Sanderson though. If he does some more research, learns to incorporate some more details, he could write something beautiful. He has the potential and the ideas that make a book utterly awesome, he just has to make sure his writing matches his plotting talent.

In case you're interested, this is how the Dutch-German border looks. On the right side of the street you live in Germany, on the left side you're living in the Netherlands. The picture was made 5 minutes from my house, during soccer-season.

Blurb

Traveling to Europe to escape the specter of madness in his life, Daniel Allman meets and falls in love with a woman who believes herself to be an angel. She is being pursued by a psychopath; a man she believes is an anti-angel. An action-packed thriller, a tender love story, and a literary adventure. The Angelic Mysteries: Where Heaven and Earth Meet.

Other reviews you might be interested in

• Review: Shine by Lauren Myracle (4/5 Stars)
• Review: Hard Day's Knight by John G. Hartness (4/5 Stars)
• Review: Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho (4/5 Stars)

More links

• Author page
• Goodreads

PBB Review: Acadia, Book I: The Lost King and the Goddess of Time

Acadia, Book I: The Lost King and the Goddess of Time by Ali Naqvi
(The Second Great War #1)

Reviewer: Alastair from I can has books?
2 out of 5 stars

Published by Createspace
Review copy received from the author

My Mother always told me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say to people then I shouldn’t say anything at all – sadly that would make this review extremely short.

Damont is a young man who finds out around half way into the novel that he is the long lost descendent of the infamous Langorn line – the one who united Acadia. He travels to the nearby country for advice, where the Queen sends him on a quest of discovery in the forest (along with two companions) to prove he is worthy to be king. From there, there are run-ins with gods, people out to kill him and the heir to the neighbouring country planning Damont’s demise. Sadly by the time the story starts to kick in I had already decided that I had no real love for Damont, primarily down to his naive yet arrogant attitude. Instead I wanted to know more about Virden (a loner, or hunter as he’s titled in the book, who seems to like a drop or two of blood to drink) as he seems like much deeper characters.

One of the main things that I love about fantasy novels is how I can become completely and utterly lost in the World that the author has magically created for the reader to fall in to in their own way. The exploration chapters that some people find a little tiresome I absolutely adore. Sadly the first two real journeys that Damont faces are looked with incredibly rushed over with no real depth or feeling of travel or excitement, which in turn made Acadia have no real depth or meaning to me. As the novel continues Naqvi seems to find his footing and the World does start to flourish and open up, however for me it was to late.

Sadly I don’t think I’ll be reading the next book in the series.

Read this review on Alastair's blog

Blurb

It was only a nightmare at first, but Damont soon realizes that he can see into the future-a curse he has to live with for being the only son of a king dead for a thousand years, with a mother who is the goddess of time.

A man in black armor with a face as obscure as the shadows mantling him laughs wickedly. Who is he and why does he continue to haunt me, Damont wonders. Appearing only in his dreams, the man in the black armor stands alone and laughs high as if to mock him while the world around him burns to cinder. "They are not dreams, my son," a voice calls out to him in a vision after the many nightmares-claiming to be his mother whom abandoned him when he was but a child. "They are shards of a broken world to come if you so take the path of your father." If such a path does lie ahead beyond a throne that sits vacant for centuries, with an empire in the east growling for war, then Damont Langörn realizes he has but one choice: follow the visions and seek out the truth lost to both him and the world behind his lineage-but will he be strong enough to face such a malevolent foe of his nightmares?

With a vampire and a sorceress at his side, Damont begins his journey, but such a road is not an easy one to take if the gods themselves do not wish for his return as the king who would unite the world against their existence and bring demise to their very doorstep.

More links

• Author page
• Goodreads

Review: Stone Kissed by Keri Stevens

Stone Kissed by Keri Stevens

2 out of 5 stars

Published by Carina Press
Review copy received through Netgalley

It took me almost a month to finish this book. Not because it's such a long book, or so intricately written, but just because after reading every twenty pages I had to put Stone Kissed down again. This story annoyed me to no end.

Delia can talk to statues. In her work as restorer this can come in quite handy, but in the social plane not so much. When her father has a terrible accident she is forced to sell the house of her childhood. The buyer, the influential Grant Wolverton, makes her feel things she has never felt before. Will she be able to convince him she doesn't want to sell the house? And what if he finds out about her darkest secret?

The book starts pretty well. Delia's abilities are interesting, and something I've never read about. Her conversations with the statues are hilarious at times. Stone Kissed had a strong start, making me hopeful I would agree with all the raving reviews. Soon I discovered I am quite of a different opinion.

I have huge issues with the main part of the story, namely the romance between Grant and Delia. About every stage they go through I thoroughly detest. We begin with the instant-lust.

Ms Stevens tries to hide the instant-lust behind the fact that Delia and Grant have already met in the past, when Delia was still a little girl. For me she shouldn't have bothered with this detail. Even though it explains the Grant = God complex Delia has, it is no reason at all for lust. Do you still find your teen fantasies attractive twenty years later? I don't think so. You will smile at them, reminiscing, shaking your head at your youthful innocence. But you won't get wobbly knees or start to feel indecent places tingling. At least not when you have grown up a tiny bit.

I know the instant lust is something used in countless romance stories, and there is a minority of people that get annoyed by this. Therefore, I gave this book another chance. More often than not, this kind of book gets a lot better after the hero and heroine actually start dating. It was then I found out that this couple is extremely stubborn.

Before I am going to continue my rant about the relationship aspect of the book, I have something to say about the heroine of this story, Delia. Delia is a special girl. She has a gift/curse that makes her stand out from other people, and that makes her labelled as "crazy". I completely get that. However, I don't get why Delia feels the need to actually act like a crazy person. She goes around slapping people, yelling at them for no apparent reason, talks to herself or mumbles to statues in public places, overall she acts like a completely mentally unstable woman. She still thinks she is normal, and blames the people around her for her not having friends. If she would take only one minute to take a good look at herself, she might be able to come to the conclusion that all fault lies by herself. Every kindness extended to her she turns away, and quite rudely at that. Because of this her moments of self-pity were excruciating to read. It's not her ability to hear statues talking. It's her own attitude. I just couldn't feel sorry for Delia. I didn't feel anything for her throughout story but mild aversion.

Then we land at my biggest annoyance of all, which to my greatest luck, occurs for about fifty percent of this book. That is correct dear reader, during fifty percent of this book, there is absolutely no progress made in their relationship whatsoever. Let me tell you what they do during this time.

Step 1: Have a childish conflict that could be solved easily by talking
Step 2: Insert Delia sulking, screaming and hitting
Step 3: Insert Grant being the big bad alpha male
Step 4: Don't talk about the problem
Step 5: Have angry sex
Step 6: Rinse & repeat

If my copy of Stone Kissed had been paperback, I would have thrown it against the wall. As I was reading the ARC on my precious Kindle, I didn't want to subject it to the same treatment.

But still, WHAT THE HELL? I don't even want to count the times they have angry sex. After which Delia runs off again, wallowing in self-pity because Grant doesn't love her. But she does love him! Oh my, it hurts so baaaad.

Urgent note to Delia: you don't want him to use you and hurt you with his big alpha-maleness? Don't have sex with him. I repeat. Just don't have sex.

Seriously, I just don't get it. Why, in the world and the heavens above, would you still have sex with a guy that one, thinks you're a thief. Two, thinks you're a liar. And three, thinks you're quite crazy in the head. And still be able to love him. But while you're busy loving him, you can't have a single good thought about him. Same counts for Grant though. How can you love someone you think is a thief, liar and crazy bitch? And even think about having children with this kind of person? You should never ever think about doing this to a child. How can you be a good father, but condemn your offspring to a crazy mother?

Wind back to the crazy and liar part for a second. You know that moment in paranormal books when the vampire/werewolf/bigass wizard reveals he's a supernatural? At first, he gets laughed at. Then he reveals his fangs/becomes furry/does a cool trick and the laughter is changed to amazement, wonder, and maybe a bit of horror.

Now, let's examine how Delia manages her big reveal. She refrains from telling Grant, even though he has seen her in deep conversation with multiple busts. When he asks her about it, she makes an ugly face and runs away. Repeat three times. After a number of these confrontations, she finally confides that yes, she talks to the garden gnome. And they talk back. Now, Grant laughs at her. Delia makes an ugly face and runs away. Wait, but that wasn't how it's supposed to go! Where is her proof, where is her big trick? Now Delia continues to hate Grant for not believing her, but having angry sex in the meanwhile.

How, how, HOW is Grant supposed to believe her when she gives absolutely no proof of her ability whatsoever? She could have asked him to bring her a statue, and she would tell him where it came from. She could tell all its secrets and fun things she wasn't supposed to know. Then Grant could be all amazed and in wonder. Maybe, maybe they could even have happy sex for once. But no. There is no big trick, there is no talking, they fight and continue to hate each other while loving.

It's quite the miracle I'm still giving Stone Kissed two stars really. It is quite awful. I wouldn't have finished it if this wasn't an ARC I had for review. I'm giving this one star for Ms Stevens coming up with a creative supernatural power, a half star for her writing, and another half for her taking the effort to write a book. That makes for two very, very teeny tiny stars. But well, there they are.

Blurb

When Delia Forrest talks to statues, they talk back. She is, after all, the last of the Steward witches.

After an arsonist torches her ancestral home with her estranged father still inside, Delia is forced to sell the estate to pay his medical bills. Her childhood crush, Grant Wolverton, makes a handsome offer for Steward House, vowing to return it to its former glory. Delia agrees, as long as he'll allow her to oversee the restoration.

Working so closely with Grant, Delia finds it difficult to hide her unique talent—especially when their growing passion fuels her abilities.

But someone else lusts after both her man and the raw power contained in the Steward land. Soon Delia finds herself fighting not just for Grant's love, but for both their lives...

More links

• Author page
• Press
• Goodreads

Review: Bumped by Megan McCafferty

Bumped by Megan McCafferty

2 out of 5 stars

Published by  Harper Collins, Inc
Review copy received through Netgalley

I didn't really like this book. It was completely over the top for me. I like books with a message, as long as it's done subtly. Bumped is just one bombastic piece of culture shock with messages flying all over the place, with the subtlety of a grenade-impact.

The blurb sounds interesting, and the simple cover appealed to me. There are the twin-sisters split from birth, a virus that makes having children after the teenage years impossible. And don't forget we're living in 2035, so advanced technology is present.

This book would have been so much better if the main characters, Harmony and Melody, were even remotely close to likeable. I was in constant discussion which one of the twin sisters I disliked more; the annoying my-God-is-better-than-yours sister or the equally annoying what-others-think-of-me-is-the-most-important-thing-evar sister. Even worse is that they don't develop as characters, but that towards the end of the book there is a sudden "halleluja!" moment where they for no reason at all change into a "better" person. Ugh.

I think this book was more written to shock its audience than truly have something to say. It's a continuing rampage full of made up words, orgies, Brave New World kind of drugs and a whole belief system based on supply and demand. Add the Psalm-spewing twin for some contrast, and you have Bumped. Even though categorised as young-adult, I would definitely not recommend this for your fifteen-year-old. This book is more on the adult than the young side.

Blurb

When a virus makes everyone over the age of eighteen infertile, would-be parents are forced to pay teen girls to conceive and give birth to their children, making teens the most prized members of society.

Sixteen-year-old identical twins Melody and Harmony were separated at birth and had never met until the day Harmony shows up on Melody’s doorstep. Until now, the twins have followed completely opposite paths. Melody has scored an enviable conception contract with a couple called the Jaydens. While they are searching for the perfect partner for Melody to bump with, she is fighting her attraction to her best friend Zen, who is way too short for the job.

Harmony has spent her whole life in religious Goodside, preparing to be a wife and mother. She believes her calling is to bring Melody back to Goodside and convince her that “pregging” for profit is a sin. But Harmony has secrets of her own that she is running from.

When Melody is finally matched with the world-famous, genetically flawless Jondoe, both girls’ lives are changed forever. A case of mistaken identity takes them on a journey neither could have ever imagined, one that makes Melody and Harmony realize they have so much more than just DNA in common.

Other reviews you might be interested in

• Review: Marked by P.C. Cast (3.5/5 stars)

More links

• Author page
• Harper Collins, Inc
• Goodreads

Review: The Struggle by L.J. Smith

The Struggle by L.J. Smith

(Vampire Diaries, #2)

2 out of 5 stars

When I finished The Awakening, the first part of this series, I thought the book had a severe case of First-Book-In-Series-Disease. All the symptoms for FBISD were there; there is a lot of getting to know each other going on, the plot is rather weak, the whole mission of the book is us getting to know the world and the context. In the next books, the series pick up and the real story-line starts.

Yet it seems I have diagnosed the Vampire Diaries incorrectly. The Struggle picks off where The Awakening stops. And then it continues at exactly the same pace. It took me three-quarter of the book to discover the real story arch. To me, the plot seemed to go nowhere. Elena is still one of the spoiled and pettiest characters I have ever met. She puts on a big "oh I can't trust anyone" fuss and constantly keeps secrets from the great love of her life. That she has a hard time keeping his vampirism from people she knows, I can absolutely understand. But that she can't even tell her boyfriend that someone has stolen her diary is completely beyond me.

There is nothing wrong with the overall concept behind the story or the writing on itself, but the main characters annoy me. (You know something is wrong when you start hoping the girl dumps her boyfriend and ends up with the big bad guy that kills people. At least he has something interesting to do.) The main issue I have with this book is the message it gives. If you have to believe Elena, using people at your desire, even though you're hurting them while doing it, is perfectly fine. You needed them, right? Not being the queen of the entire school is absolutely horrific too. Not having everyone say hi to you when you walk through corridors is disastrous. Sucks to be normal, huh.

In one scene, she almost had my sympathy. When she thinks she has out-smarted said big bad guy, he does the completely logical thing to do as proper villain; go after your family. His target: the little innocent sister. Elena between them as a proper heroine should. Yet her sole thought while protecting her little sister is that she must help her, because she's still a baby! Apparently, it's completely normal to let an older sister fight off the murderer you've send upon them, yet it's unacceptable when the fight is unfair. And there was I hoping for a redeeming quality.

This is not a "bad" book. The writing on itself is pretty good, clear and polished with a smooth dialogue flow. Even the story is not that bad. If only Ms Smith would concentrate on things that do matter. The high-school part of the book was in complete unbalance with the vampire part. It feels like she thought one day "hey, this is just another book about the popular girl at school, lets throw in vampires so it's more interesting!". I wish there was more vampire and less high school. I think I would like the book a lot better then.

Blurb

A Love Triangle of Unspeakable Horror...

Damon: Determined to make Elena his queen of darkness, he'd kill his own brother to possess her.

Stefan: Desperate for the power to destroy Damon, he succumbs to his thirst for human blood.

Elena: Irresistibly drawn to both brothers, her choice will decide their fate.

The terrifying story of two vampire brothers and the beautiful girl torn between them.
 

Reviews you might also be interested in

• The Awakening by L.J. Smith (Vampire Diaries, #1)
• Torment by Lauren Kate (Fallen, #2)